by El Collie
(This is a slightly revised version of El's Kundalini article "Awakening the Snake Goddess," originally
published in 1996 in the Wiccan and feminist spirituality newspaper Of a Like Mind.)
Three years into the staggering, wholly unexpected process that has forever changed both of our lives, my husband
dreamed that there were two types of people in the world: "ordinary" folks, living out the consensual
paradigm, and "snake people." We both instantly recognized the symbolic import of the dream, having met
scores of others since we had become "snake people" ourselves.
The sacred snake is a central motif in every nature-revering and goddess religion in recorded history. For some
of us, the Goddess is stirring awake and arising from her deep feminine abode from within our bodies and hearts
and minds. Those of us who feel her unmistakable power are experiencing the ancient rites of death and rebirth
at every level of our lives, down to our very cells. It is a calling that cannot be refused. We are becoming the
new vehicles of the holy earth energies: we are the spiral-dancing, life-celebrating, spirit-intoxicated people
of the snake.
It is happening globally; some say its magnitude is without precedent. Magic is afoot, transcendence is alive,
and human consciousness is blossoming in accelerated evolution. But few know that the Goddess is behind it all,
and that she is inching up everywhere secretly, often invisibly, in her most intimate and powerful form. When she
first extends her transformative touch, it catches many unawares. Because her manifestations in the body can be
intense, they are often mistaken for symptoms of physical illness. These can include the following:
* sensations of great heaviness in the body
* general physical weakness or partial paralysis
* muscle twitches, cramping or spasms
* tremors, shaking, convulsions
* prickly, itching, tingling, vibrating or crawling
sensations under the skin
* rhythmic, spasmodic or graceful involuntary
movements
* sensations of intense heat or cold
* headaches; pain in the back, neck; nerve pain in
legs and feet (left foot especially)
* surges of tremendous, high vibrational energy or
electricity in the spine or throughout the system
In truth, these symptoms herald a psychospiritual breakthrough known in Eastern traditions as a Kundalini awakening.
This is a mysterious but natural process in which transformative energies course through the system, bringing about
a dramatic metamorphosis of mind, body and soul. The Hindu tradition sees Kundalini as the divine Mother of all
form. Coiled in sleep at the base of the spine, the serpent power of the Goddess Kundalini gives life. When she
awakens and begins to rise, the forces within (Shakti) merge with the powers on high (Shiva), consummating the
sacred marriage. From this union of earthly and heavenly energies comes spiritual rebirth and wholeness. This same
phenomena has been recognized and described (in indigenous semantics) by nearly every culture in the world. Ethnologists
sometimes refer to these universally found processes of purificatory and transformative illness as "shaman's
sickness".
Until very recently, there has been no context in which these profound processes could be recognized, understood
or supported in Western culture. Even now, the field of psychospiritual research is embryonic. For the most part,
Westerners still lack a medical or religious model to encompass spontaneous (Goddess-catalyzed) transformational
experience. The need to create an adequate framework becomes more crucial as increasing numbers of us are reporting
these breakthrough experiences. Initially (and sometimes, for many years) most of the individuals undergoing involuntary
Kundalini awakening have no idea what is actually transpiring in their bodies and psyches. As a result, they carry
an unnecessary burden of anxiety, confusion and loneliness in the face of this tremendous multidimensional process.
Many fear they are in the clutches of some horrendous disease, or under psychic attack, or even victim to demonic
possession. Sometimes they feel on the brink of mental collapse. Too often, doctors concur with this appraisal.
In worst case scenarios (and these happen with tragic frequency), the emotional catharsis and altered states of
consciousness that mark Kundalini activation are misdiagnosed and mistreated as mental illness. Medical mismanagement
can abort these potentially beneficial upheavals, generally to the detriment of the individual involved. Interrupting
a Kundalini awakening rarely returns one to a "normal" state of physical and mental health. More often,
such interference arrests the process in a dysfunctional limbo state, or weighs it down so that the person suffers
needless difficulties for years.
Even those who realize they are in the midst of some kind of potent inner cleansing are in a catch-22 situation
when it comes to consulting physicians (for the risen Kundalini can trigger injuries and latent diseases which
may require medical attention). Three different doctors tried to push antidepressant and sedative medication on
me during my siege of physical Kundalini symptoms. I knew these drugs have been found to be antagonistic to the
process, yet I also realized that if I tried to tell my doctors about my activated Kundalini, they would be skeptical
at best. More than likely, confiding the truth of my predicament would have branded me a wacko, and any subsequent
physical complaints would not be taken seriously. Few people I know who tried to discuss Kundalini openly with
their psychiatrist or M.D. found their physician receptive to this. There are doctors who are aware of the psychological
and biological toll of spiritual emergence; some, like W. Brugh Joy and Richard Moss, have undergone these experiences
themselves. But by and large, Western medicine draws a strict dividing line between physical concerns and matters
of the spirit. Likewise, religious advisors are apt to throw anything involving bodily (or mental/emotional) symptoms
back into the court of the medicos.
At the opposite end of the scale are the spiritual and metaphysical teachers who acknowledge and encourage transformative
experiences -- as long as they occur exclusively within the context of their own practices. There is a widespread
tendency to confuse the technologies with the territory, and to believe that Kundalini releases (or shamanic experiences)
can only result from extensive meditation, yoga, vision quests, ritual drumming, deliberate manipulation of the
chakras and so on. While some teachers are aware of "accidental" spiritual emergence, they may also be
disdainful of this, as if any expression of the sacred outside their own tradition is somehow tainted or lacking
in authenticity. Adding the threat of injury to insult for those of us experiencing these "accidents,"
many charge that "premature" (i.e., spontaneous) awakening poses great danger.
It is true that a Kundalini process can be a perilous journey, and not everyone makes it through this shattering
passage intact (those following ordained spiritual practices notwithstanding). As with everything else in life,
there are no guarantees. Generally speaking, with the help of experienced advisors, the path can be smoother and
shorter, but even so, these dramatic processes can (and often do) continue to unfold for many eventful years.
The Goddess is as merciful as she is fierce, and for some, spiritual awakening may arrive in gentle waves of personal
insight and gradual revelation. But many of us are discovering that the road to enlightenment often veers through
rugged terrain as well as billowing fields of bliss. Spiritual energies can storm the senses like a psychic hurricane,
relentlessly smashing through every level of obstruction to inner growth. Once unfurled, there is no way to reverse
the expansive, consciousness-raising intent of fiery Kundalini. In the more chaotic, early stages, this inexorable
forward march can cause alarm, but above all else, this is a healing process. Those who have completed the journey
all speak of remarkable serenity, renewal, heightened sensitivity and vastly increased personal creativity. Some
emerge with extraordinary psychic gifts; others revel in the best physical health in their lives.
While the process bears distinctive features (such as surges of powerful energies felt in the body, and pronounced
plunges into mystical states), there is no such thing as a standard Kundalini awakening. Each process is unique.
Those who find themselves overtaken by this transformational force discover that for all her fury, the Snake Goddess
has an unerring intelligence. Astute healers and teachers who offer assistance for the process are humbled by the
wisdom it displays. Much of the awakening experience is a nonnegotiable summons to let go, to surrender to psychic
death and its aftermath of radiant regeneration. What is most needed is an atmosphere of safety and support for
the Goddess to open us in her own way, at her own pace.
Even when qualified helpers are unavailable, the simple knowledge that one is not alone on this strange pilgrimage
provides immeasurable relief. Over and again, I have heard people express profound gratitude to learn that their
bizarre symptoms and emotional turbulence were not signs of disintegration, but evidence of the Goddess' transcendent
yet very earthy handiwork. The realization that this is a spiritual phenomenon can transmute terror to joy. Out
of this understanding comes the courage, patience, hope and love to affirm our blessed place in the great scheme
of things, and to brave the trials and mysteries of our inner pathways to illumination.