I am eternally grateful for your letter confirming Kundalini awakening and additional information. It meant the world to me to finally have my experience validated. I have been practicing Transcendental Meditation and the advanced TM Siddhi program for 24 years and 17 years respectively. In the early days, TM was a great stress buster and I practiced it with great enthusiasm as did many members of my family. Everything was fine and I never experienced any problems health-wise until about 6 or 7 years ago. At that time, I began to experience as assortment of symptoms ranging from stiff neck and back sensations, digestive problems, heart palpitations, tingling and numbness on the left side of the body, tremendous heat and sensations on the left side of the head and nape of the neck, and then severe panic attacks and insomnia which I was eventually hospitalized for in '97.
The panic attacks were very intense over an 8 month period and resulted in loss of appetite, a weight loss of
30 lbs. and quite serious depression. I felt like I was having a complete breakdown and nothing in my daily life
warranted such a collapse. I hadn't had unbroken sleep for over a year and was severely depleted. In the hospital,
I was sedated and given sleeping pills. After a week, I started to feel better and weaned myself of all medication
as I don't believe in taking chemicals. I checked myself out in October '97 and learned how, with the help of a
therapist, to talk myself out of panic but I still to this day experience tremendous heat in my head, vibrating
in my back and neck, numbness, tingling and serious fatigue alternating with high energy other days.
I have been to over 50 different doctors (all with top reputations): internists, ENTs, endocrinologists, opthamologists (my eyesight comes and goes), psychologists, psychiatrists, urologists (my body fills with fluid which then mysteriously subsides), gastroenterologists, cardiologists, chiropractors, orthopedists, physical therapists (for joint pain that comes and goes), podiatrists (for heel swellings), Dr. Chopra's Ayurvedic clinic, faith healers, acupuncturists... You name it, I've tried it. My last visit to an herbalist left me with even more severe heat. Any bodyworker seems to increase the intensity of the sensations. I feel so out of balance.
There was no one to help in the TM movement. Maharishi is not a personal guru to me. Maharishi is a world teacher to over 4.5 million people and can't possibly be a personal guru to all of those individuals. Other TM friends are not experiencing what I'm going through and are perplexed by it. Perhaps its all just perimenopause, but my gynecologist says he's never seen a "change" like this in his 50 years of practice.
I'm not crazy or a hypochondriac. I was an elementary school teacher and am a mother of twins age 19. My husband is a white collar professional. Even though we both live in an urban area, we live a great meditative, natural foods type lifestyle. I haven't had a drink or drug since the 60's. These crazy sensations have wreaked havoc with our lives. I haven't been able to work in 7 years. The symptoms don't seem to follow a logical pattern. Some days meditation makes them worse, sometimes better. I've tried 20 different diets and kept track of food allergies. No pattern. Before I saw your description of Kundalini symptoms, I was ready to try past life regression therapy or alien abduction hypnotists. I was desperate! On good days I spent my time reading all I could in Eastern philosophy, but I still didn't have a clue as to what was going on. I felt suicidal, especially at night when the energies were intense and sleep didn't come easily. I was at my wit's end.
J.S.'s letter expresses the frustration and desperation felt by people experiencing the double distress of difficult Kundalini symptoms and no adequate explanation for their illness. Recently, another woman emailed us to say she was weeping with gratitude to have discovered our site and to realize she was experiencing spontaneous Kundalini. She had been afraid that she was dying or going crazy or being overtaken by some malevolent force. All these feelings are so familiar to those of us who have had Kundalini take us by surprise.
The majority of subscribers to Shared Transformation newsletter are experiencing Kundalini firsthand, and let us know how much they appreciate hearing the stories of others in the same predicament. It enables us to feel a bond of kinship on a immense psychospiritual journey. Even with accurate information, this can be an extremely demanding and difficult process. Shared Transformation newsletters are filled with personal experience stories from readers who share what has helped them (although no one solution works for everyone even when we're having similar problems).
When awareness of Kundalini awakening becomes more widespread, those unexpectedly initiated by Kundalini will be spared some of the fear and desperation which J.S. and so many others have had to endure. Kundalini has received some mainstream media attention in Denmark and Canada, but thus far, very little in the U.S. A spiritual process that impacts the body/mind so dramatically is a great a challenge to prevailing religious and scientific paradigms. Few people know that a strong influx of spiritual energy can cause emotional and mental distress, as well as producing real metabolic and other measurable physiological changes. Most Kundalini symptoms are caused by a process of radical inner growth rather than being pathological disturbances in need of external remedy. Even most holistic practitioners have trouble grasping this.
Although there are several underfunded Kundalini research organizations collecting data on this process, at present most of what is known of its course is anecdotal. There are a growing number of support groups springing up through Internet mailing lists in addition to our ST newsletters, which we have been producing since 1993. The more this kind of information becomes available, the better it will be for all who are experiencing Kundalini directly and for those who wish to aid a friend or loved one in the process.
I went through almost all symptoms listed, sought medical advice from neurologists and internists, ophthalmologists
and psychiatrists, visited clairvoyants and pranatherapists, and none were able to offer a good explanation. Since
all my tests came up clean, I was considered a hypochondriac.
I found out all the answers by myself. I might write the book, "Kundalini, My Way." After two years, I still have many of the symptoms. After meditation or energizing practice, they are enhanced but I am happy with them.
I'm a meditation teacher in the Sufi tradition. I've mastered Samadhi, the goal of Kundalini work, to the point
that my heartbeat stopped for five minutes in clinical tests in a hospital here in Boston. Also the Delta waves
in my EEG were very high, higher than in deep sleep. These waves are the slowest of all brain waves and when produced
consciously are another indicator of Samadhi. Furthermore, I have many students that have done these things. Of
course these are just the outer indications; the inner experience is one of being beyond life, space, and time,
similar to death, in order to conquer death's fear and understand life.
But after 30 years of experience with Samadhi, I've stopped teaching it.
First, it's just too dangerous. It can easily lead to a variety of mental disorders that one doesn't see coming. It's not the "fast path" that many think because it takes a long time to recover from the disassociativeness.
Second, it's not helpful to a life in the world. Samadhi was developed for use in a monastic setting. It's amazing and wondrous, but it's only half-way. The second half of the path, according to the Sufis, is bringing the realization of Samadhi back home and living it out. But for that, the method needs to be completely different. Bringing it home uses the downward energy, flowing in the spine in opposition to Kundalini. Also, if you see "Living from the Heart" as the goal, then enormous progress can occur without much Kundalini. So the meditation to practice in the downward type -- that's the harder part. Kundalini rises on its own, given even a slight boost from conscious breathing. The harder part is to steer that energy into the heart and let it express itself in heart-centered behavior.
Third, it's been done. The frontier of human consciousness has moved on in the last three thousand years. There are new challenges today, challenges that are as exciting as it must have been for Yogi Patanjali and later the Buddha to explore the world "beyond time and no time, beyond space and no space, beyond existence and no existence." Instead of aspiring to NO thoughts, I aspire to ALL emotions, all at once.
If you are interested in the meditation of OUR time, concentrate on your heart, not your etheric body. It's safe, it's practical, and it's very challenging.
The Web site for the Institute of Applied Meditation is a good place to start. http://www.appliedmeditation.org
Blessings from the heart,
I'd like to share my own personal story and theory of kundalini awakening. From the time I was born I was very interested in the spiritual world. I would often catch myself being in a trance-like state when I was young and end up talking to myself and not even being aware that I was in a public place. The term 'space-cadet' or 'absent-minded professor' probably fit me like a glove. I was trying to astrally travel and reading books on such occult things by the time I was seven.
When I was 19 I became hooked on Carlos Casteneda's books on Don Juan, as well as other "classics" such as Barbara Brennan's 'Hand's of Light'. It was this same year that I began experimenting with hallucinogens - mainly LSD and mushrooms. For a person who is interested in outerspace explorations such drugs are the key to a quick advancement. Like most people I felt that I had entered a whole new reality to explore. Probably the 7th or 8th time that I tripped, I started to become aware of myself in a whole new way. I was suddenly able to see that certain aspects of myself needed to grow and change. I became aware that I possessed many undesirable traits. It was as if these realizations were coming from another source than myself - I was not actually seeking them out. Because of these experiences I began to contemplate the realm of human personality - and soon my spiritual path escalated.
Being very young still, and a true believer in spiritual powers, I was very interested in exploration of psychic powers in general. Of particular importance to my spiritual path was the experience of unity consciousness or at least partial unity consciousness - experienced with other friends while tripping on LSD. When two people who are open to feeling states are in each others presence their feeling states will often merge, and soon it is as if they are becoming one person. The effect is increased when you stare into another persons eyes and try to become empty-minded and being completely aware. I will explain the importance of this later in the story.
The other important psychic effect was being able to will various parts of my body to move - without moving them in the normal manner, using pure mental willpower. I found it easiest to start with my feet and then move on up. I found I was also able to make parts of other peoples bodies move by pure mental will just by focusing on that area - usually it would just kind of jump and shake - obviously I needed some practice at acheiving true control. It was probably very similiar to the chinese internal martial artists ability to affect other people in a fight without touching - called nei gung technique. The relevance to the kundalini awakening will also come later in the story.
At a certain point in time, while tripping again (The use of hallucinogens seemed to open me up to these experiences - although I was also able to expereince them normally to a lesser degree [or using more willpower] )I would experience spontaneous movements, also called kriyas, kriya movements, spontaneous yogic movements etc. This is basically where your body moves as if another intelligence is moving it. This would happen especially during times of extreme emotion in myself. The effects during this time period were vague - usually sawing movements very rough in nature. This relates to the above paragraph.
In the next year or two, these movements would increase in complexity, again especially while on hallucinogens. Soon, this force could expertly move my hands and other small parts of me. There was a time that I thought it was my Reiki spirit guides :) Note that this intelligence could also affect my emotions and my thoughts. The more I relaxed and tried to calm my own thoughts and listen intently, the more this force could penetrate my being and affect me on the physical, mental, and emotional level. I noticed that the types of movements usually corresponded to whatever spiritual path I was interested in at that time. For example, when I was initiated into kriya yoga, from Babaji, Yogananda etc., The intelligence would start to perform certain hand mudras and yoga gestures - things that I did not know and had to look up the meaning of afterwards.
I also have to mention that during these years as my contact with this 'presence' was growing stronger I was actively trying to engage it in mental conversation. To hear the words of this intelligence in my head at first was difficult and was basically a meditation in itself. I used the same techniques as any other channeler would use by the way. Eventually as this presence was able to more fully enter into my neurological system, the effects became clearer and I was able to mentally hear specific words on a frequent occasion. I began querying this presence and received usually one word answers - which were mostly complex multi-syllable words which I did not know the meaning of and had to look up in a dictionary.
It was during a 2-3 month period of intense emotional purging through the use of mostly hallucinogens and nitrous oxide that this intelligence was able to completely 'enter' my neurological/nervous system. My theory on this is that these compounds allowed me to completely open up psychically to recieve these energies. During 2-3 particular trips I experienced most of the more 'hard core kundalini awakening effects' such as energetic pulses going up and down my spine, strange pressures in all parts of my brain, feeling as if if I was breathing through various parts of my brain which corresponded to chakra locations, rapid body heat changes, visions of such complexity that I knew that my mind wasnt the one making them, times where one or the other of my nostrils would close open, and I would be breathing out of only one, then it would suddenly and quickly switch...I also experienced ecstatic feelings of love and bliss in many different forms, which were far greater than any kind of drug experience I could possibly have had. I am quite sure that I also had various hypertensive effects - rapid blood pressure changes, lots of scary effects that made me think that I was going to faint or have a seizure or something. It was after a particular intense use of mushrooms that it became obvious that this presence no longer needed me to use the hallucinogens to get into contact with it. I was now constantly in dialogue with it and it was continously working in my body 24 hours a day - even influencing my dreams.
After my last trip during this time period, I spent about the next month feeling what I call the 'sparklies' - which felt like intense little shocks throughout my nervous system - most of them small, some of them large and corresponding to major chakra points - especially the muladhara chakra. Also after this major awakening event the intelligence had full access to my nervous system - it could physically move me around just as easily as I could. It could lay on any emotional state or feeling in my body, play any kind of mental imagery across my inner picture screen that it wanted, and a month or so after the 'sparklies' ended it could also talk through my mouth just as easily as I could.
It has been a little over a year since this happened. One of the major effects is that my consciousness is expanding daily. Another unfortunate part of the process is that during this whole time and to a great extent the past 2 years prior to my 'kundalini awakening' it as if I have been depressed. When I say depressed - I mean lacking in feeling and general happiness. This needs to be described more in detail.
Mainly it isn't really being 'depressed' it is more like being 'suppressed'. The feelings that make life so great just aren't there. This is accurately described by Gopi Krishna in his year and a half to two years after his kundalini awakening. Having no interest in life often drains one as one feels nothing. It is hard to maintain interest in activities, relationships, food, sex, or any of desires of humanity. As a result of this a person experiencing this will often find that he will grasp onto anything which provides a feeling arousal. This is very Jungian in effect - that person will dig up all of his childhood traumas and desires which were stifled during their lifetime. For example - if that person secretly was gay, and trying to remain straight - it would come out, if that person hated living where they were living - that feeling would come out to such an intensity that they would move, if that person was in a career or life-style situation which was contrary to their true nature - they would be forced to change it - the feeling would dominate their consciousness at that point. This is why having a full-kundalini awakening pretty much catapults you towards your true self. As most people do not truly represent their true selves - having built up a false persona of who they were, it is often a painful process of growth which they must go through. You will be forced to enter into many situations which you feared (perhaps you feared what people would think of you if you acted 'this' way, or you if you became 'that' kind of person). After having giving in to your true self - especially having worked through all of the past issues, you will not necesarily stay as that person you didnt want to be - you can still grow and change your life style, but you have to allow that true inner self to be.
On an end note I'd like to point out that these kind of occurences are exactly what is supposed to happen in Kriya yoga, Siddha yoga, Sahaj yoga, and advanced Kripalu yoga. Each of these yogas is about allowing the spontaneous yoga movements to occur. Furthermore there are many famous individuals who have written books which describe this intelligence as being the force behind spiritual change. Examples are Sri Aurobindo, who called this force the supermind. KrishnaMurta - who details how a spiritual presence was able to work through him. Joan of Arc - who communicated with what is most likely this same presence. Swami Muktananda - whose experiences perfectly fit into this model. Any of the spiritualists who allowed beings to enter into them and express itself through such things as automatic writing, channelling, speaking in tongues, etc. etc. Swami Yogananda of kriya yoga - obviously was 'in allegiance' with this presence, as is detailed in his books.
Looking back at the spiritual events in my life it is plainly obvious that the guiding force on my whole spiritual path was this presence. As far the unity consciousness is concerned (unity consciousness being one of the goals of the tantric path BTW) I believe that two individuals with this "initiation" would be able to truly experience this state because this spiritual presence would act as a bridge between the two people. So it really wouldn't be a twosome - it's a threesome. I think that is a major blessing for two people who are in union, they each would be able to know eachother so much deeper by being in contact with this go-between presence.
So in short -what I am saying is that the kundalini awakening is not as is commonly believed - coiled around the muladhara chakra three times - instead it is an awakening and connection with a higher spiritual intelligence which moves through mankind and has been for thousands of years - probably the force which is evolving humankind. Traditionally a kundalini awakening has been seen as a separate occurence, but I think it is in fact the motivating force behind all truly spiritual people and spiritual paths. An intelligent presence which may very likely be involved in the evolution of all of the life forms on this planet. There are many terms which may describe this energy - shakti, mahashakti, purusa, shabdabrahman, Tao?, Ain Soph, God?, the companion (sufism), etc. etc.. in all of the various advanced spiritual paths in the world. So anyone who is experiencing this awakening is truly experiencing a connection with a higher (divine?) presence. The question is - is this presence the same one for all of the people? Or are there many different spiritual entities which are contacting people? The latter one may lead to some fear, but it is a possible explanation...In any event I am positive that this occurrence in my life has led to remarkable growth and changes and abilities which I would not have had otherwise.
El Collie responds:
The Kundalini experiences you've had are classic. I've had all of them and more without the trigger of psychedelic drugs (nor was I engaging in formal spiritual practices or involved in specific traditions at the time I experienced the mudras, spontaneous yoga postures, etc.). I've written of my experiences extensively in various issues of Shared Transformation newsletter. From the earliest K-manifestations, it became evident to me that Kundalini was a divine intelligence "alive" in my bodymind. Ever since, I've considered my life consecrated to the will of Kundalini (whom I revere as a Goddess). The yogic depiction of Kundalini as a sleeping serpent coiled in the root chakra represents the dormant Kundalini energies. The energy movements which accompany the process are frequently experienced as sinuous or spiralling in nature (i.e., "snake-like"). For more on this, see my "Zone of Fire" article.
You have no idea how grateful I am for your website!!!
I had an experience about 6 years ago and it both enhanced and fowarded my spiritual aspect of self as well as it brought some detrimental experiences.
I had been involved with spiritual studies, wu-chi breathing, vaspasana exercises, reading on many different modalities and contacting spirits through different mediums, (meditation, divination, pendulum, tarot, automatic writing), but always with the intent of what is good from GOD. (Let me point out also that I have come to believe that GOD is bigger than any human conception or label we tend to place on it. I think it is more blasphemous to limit GOD by trying to define it in humanistic terms).
I had read about Kundalini on several occasions, but had a been a bit of a lazy person by nature, (was 22/23 at the time this occured), and didn't follow any exercise, yoga or any other practice with any discipline. I was burning some candles, had meditation music on, cleared the room with white sage, and sat down in a half-lotus. I uttered the words at one point, "I want death, I want to die of this world a shamanic death..." BOOM!!! There was this overwhelming silence, almost like when your ears get clogged with water, except without the pressure. I wasn't doing any heavy or deep breathing or anything, I actually forget what I was focusing on at the exact moment when it happened. I felt this tingling sensation in the base of my spine. IT was hot, and quickly shot up the back of my spine and what felt to be through the top of my head. I had this tingling all over my body now and incredible state of elation and joy overwhelmed me. I didn't realize at the time that I may had achieved a full awakening of this Kundalini experience. My bedroom was also changing a bit. It was feeling more and more crowded with entities. I remember feeling the need to keep a candle lit in the room at all times, the ceiling fan on, the window open and classical musical playing. The idea was to keep the vibrations constanly moving in that space. Don't ask me why, I just felt compelled to do it at the time. Things were going to get quite interesting, but I just didn't know how much...
What happened over the next 5 months was truly amazing. Parts of my being were slowly being transformed, for good and for bad. I lost about 50 pounds, was sleeping about 1 to 2 hours a night with no noticeable detriment to my work or sense that I was tired during the waking hours. I had energy beyond energy. Enhanced abilities in all perceptions, especially what felt more like clairaudience, hearing was so sharp as to pick out even whispers from across the room. I could see things in people much more clearly. The subtle body postures, facial expressions and so on, I was able to see the patterns of life around us as being more alive than of random chaos that many might perceive in the lower vibration of everyday living. I was beginning to connect with many different aspects of self, the later ones which come to manifest and literally take over my body. There was a feeling of moving into the Godhead as it was referred to, and a guide or higher self that called itself Arlilio. Prior to this I had never channeled or had any psychological problems that had ever manifested this way. (Note though: I had several girlfriends in the past that said in lying next to me in bed at night, they said my face would change shapes, literally as if there was different faces appearing over mine, some doning facial hair or even female in appearance. In other words, I have had many other experiences that were spiritual or esoteric in nature).
I am going to have to skip alot here but will say that what finally occurred, where it all ended was with me going to the hospital for about 2 1/2 weeks because it go to the point where I just couldn't sleep anymore and the energy was just too overwhelming. One of the side affects I had experienced was that my eyes were constantly fixed and dialated wide open. I was told after it all that on several occasions when I spoke to people, it was as if some one else was speaking through me, that my eyes conveyed a sense of a spiritual master coming through, even my poise and mannerisms did not seem to be naturally John, but of some other older and wiser being. When they took an EEG of me at the hospital, they found that my Delta waves were way too high, being that I was awake. They said that I shouldn't have had that unless I was asleep? They also tried to bring me down with drugs (Depakote and one other). I took them for the duration I was in the hospital and then about another week while I was home. After that I got off them, (I think cold turkey which was not a smart thing to do in retrospect). It took me about 6 - 9 months to feel totally normal again. By normal, I mean, not feeling like I was connecting with something beyond the reality which is real everyday life.
For the past several years, the whole thing left me a bit confused and didn't make much sense. I had been trying to acheive a higher connection and find the "truth" that so many others have and continue to search for, but what the hell did I actually tap into? I was possesed at one point I can honestly say that, but there was much good that came out of being that other person also. I did some hands on healing work with several people during those 5 months and the results were absolutely astounding. I actually had this one woman was seriously depressed and a bit dishevled looking. A mutual friend had told me of her and asked me if I could do a session with her. I went to her home as requested. I explained to her what might occur, that there might be a feeling that others are present in the room, that she might feel mood swings and overwhelming emotions, and that I was simply going to place my hands above her body where the energy directed me to do so. From about the minute we began, there were several entities in the room with us. I had gotten this response from other people on many occasions where they swore I was standing at their head or something, "Oooh, that feels good, your hands are so warm on my face," and I would reply, "Well that's neat, being that I am down here playing with your feet..." Then I would give them a tap or tickle to prove it and they would be like, "Whoa, I could have sworn I felt the mass of your body standing next to me with your hands on my head..." I have come to realize that whoever or whatever we become in other realities, (death or whatever), we might possibly be able to continue to help people in this life? I just have to wait and see I guess. Anyway, I told this woman what I was now perceiving in my mind's eye. I felt as if one section of her apartment had completely disappeared and was replaced by what looked to be bleachers, with tons of spirits watching. "What is this, a sporting event now?" I thought to myself. I was seeing all the white light pouring into her body, and the darkness lifting. When I told her we were done, she slowly sat up on the table. "Wow, I feel so....good, yet like I just went through an intense workout..." I told her she did in a manner of speaking. She wanted to give me a hug. I usually don't allow this to occur until I go outside, get barefoot and let the yucky stuff or residue energy leave my body. But I let her and she told me when she did, she felt as if I was surrounded by tons of light. Oh well...I did my work, or so I thought? The next day, I get a phone call at the office I was working in and it was from her friend, the woman who recommended me. "What did you do to name withheld..?!" "OH SHIT!" I thought, "Please don't tell me this woman said I molested or tried something with her..." This was like my biggest fear being that I am a muscular, big guy and always had a fear of being falsely accused based on appearence sake. I was also the only one in her place with her that day. "What do you mean?" I stammered. "SHE LOOKS INCREDIBLE! She's a whole new person, even dressing nice and smiling and wearing make-up! All the women in the office are buzzing. What the hell happened over there?" I told her that something had come through and I wasn't totally responsible for it. She insisted that I had a gift and to never stop using it. I felt like a fraud in that even though I had helped someone, this gift was coming from beyond and I didn't have a mentor or a contact like your website to help me deal with it. In other words, I didn't take those compliments to heart at the time.
I had to relate this experience because it occured while I was affected by what I now believe to be Kundalini energy. If I knew what I knew now, about myself and otherwise, I could have perhaps focused the energy to it's truer purpose? I don't know, but I am ready to continue. I have basically shyed away from alot of this stuff for the past 5/6 years since the hospital thing. Was a bit scared off, and the coming down was the scariest part. I think I know what I have to do now though. Again, I want to thank you in giving people like myself and others some validation that we are not crazy, nor alone in sharing this incredible experience, no matter how harmful it can be, it is an experienced that not everyone will have in this lifetime, so embrace it and take what good you can from it.
Namaste, Godspeed, Blessings and Peace Always...
John Macedo Jr.
Namaste - I am now currently 50 years of age and living in Rishikesh India..... You could say that my only subject
now is Truth.... and here is my personal story..... Born in the US i was a searcher for truth at a young age....
at the age of 18 i joined an esoteric christian order.... during the evening rituals while kneeling at the alter
Father Blighton layed hands upon my head. At that moment a bolt of gold light went through my body... it was like
lightening hit... absolute gold... i entered a state of samadhi... (at the time i had no idea of what samadhi was)
this samadhi lasted a period of 3 days.(The samadhi was consisting of the feeling of being conected to ALL of creation
yet separate as a witness and not involved ) ... along with it there came seeing energy... auras around people
and a purple aura around the cross on the alter and gold around one on the wall.... Father Blighton said that i
had just entered the first stage of enlightenment.... due to some jealousy from long time adherants i decided to
leave the order..... upon leaving things subsided for a number of years.....
At the age of 29 i decided to sit and meditate... sitting on the floor suddenly there was a vibration at the end of the tail bone... mulhadara chakra.... then suddenly extreme heat rose up the spine.... going to bed that evening i could not sleep... i complained to my husband that the birds were making so much noise it was impossible to sleep.... it sounded as if a hundred were in a tree all chirping at once.... i was informed it was the middle of the night and there were no birds.... thus started what was to be long years of pain and numerous kundalini created manifestations..... this lasted until completion just this last year.... during the time of manifestation it felt as if i would spontaneouly combust the heat being so intense... and the nervous system felt as if it was short circuiting everywhere at once.... there were spontaneous mudras (hand gestures) and kriyas that happened.... energy moved through the body uncontrolled.... at one time it felt as if ice cold water were poured into the heart area.... there were dreams of fires and snakes... for over 6 months.... the mental modifications included extreme depression.... then feeling the pain of the world... then as one absolutely dead... these were all lasting over one to two years in duration... siddhis came such as the ability to feel whatever was happening in another persons body and the ability to heal pain.... this process continued to unfold until coming to india and obtaining realization this last year....
i am now a speaker of truth.... and willing to help others through thier experience.... here is a list of happenings... during the process.... 1. Seeing lights internal and external 2. extreme heat up spine 3. nervous system extremely sensitive feeling as if short-circuiting 4. natural kriyas(vibrations of body - body movements and energy in patterned movements) 5. spontaneous hand mudras 6. various sounds heard internally 7. knowledge on various subjects would be known immediately in whole... 8. siddhis of various natures came and went 9. expanded consciousness 10. ended when realization was reached while in Nirvakalpa Samadhi... (when subject and object end in absolute quiet mind) 11. now resting in Anand... but note realization only ended the process due to ending of ego self.. realization was not the "natural" outcome of the kundalini experience unless you know when to surrender all and how to drop the experience of kundalini... it ended while in Self enquiry.... this is backed also by Ramana Maharishis findings also..... You may reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org or may see my site at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/God-Realized
there is no charge ever for any help that i may provide.... Love and Blessings Sat*Chit*Anand Shanti-Shanti-Shanti OM
I had a spontaneous “Kundalini awakening” three years ago that I am still coming to understand. I was 36 yrs
old at the time, healthy and leading a stable life. I had not been using drugs nor was I engaged in meditation
or other spiritual practices although I had been reading some books on ancient mythology.
It began with recurring dreams – some wonderful but others terrifying. The first recurring dream was of finding arrowheads or other Indian artifacts – treasure. I started to pay more serious attention after I found a perfect arrowhead just 2 feet off my porch one day-just like in the dream! I felt lead, dragged and sometimes pushed by a force akin to my own intuition. The experience grew steadily in intensity over a 3 month period and culminated with 7 days where the dreams became even more intense and I had odd bodily sensations – light & tingly feeling, zero fatigue or need for sleep, little appetite and a strange tight feeling in my head. My mind was flooded with realizations of both a personal and also global nature. I felt compelled to write about it incessantly in a journal that I call “ravings of a mad housewife” throughout the experience. My emotions ranged from intense feelings of love to absolute terror. I awoke from one of one powerful dream with the sensation of choking to death - I was dreaming of a snake coming up and out of my throat!
Even though I had the weird sensation of being disconnected from my body and my life, I managed to continue with my regular routine as the full-time sort of “middle-aged soccer-mom” of 3 young sons throughout. My husband was fairly tolerant, but naturally quite relieved when it was over and I seemed to return to the “old me”. I finally consciously rejected the experience as it threatened to overturn a life that I have chosen and committed to (under the guidance of this same spirit), and also because it was just getting to be too wild of a ride. To stay with the experience would mean I would have had to walk away from my life and live in a monastery or something – an option that feels totally wrong to me. I believe my best path is to slowly but gradually integrate this new awareness of reality into my life and bring it to the lives of those around me.
In hindsight, I believe the scary stuff was caused by two factors:
1. My resistance – it was necessary to shake me loose from my old ideas about reality.
2. My encounter with my own ego – personified in my dreams by a ferocious black bull that stood in the way of
path of spiritual discovery.
But, I think the worst part of the experience was that I had absolutely no frame of reference for what was happening and no one to talk to about it that might have understood. I had never accepted traditional Christianity or any other religion but in hindsight have always been a seeker of the truth. I was unprepared for what I encountered - sort of like having a baby all alone without even clue as to what was happening!
My journey continues as serendipity continues to work overtime, but in a gentler way - perhaps because I am learning to be more cooperative. I have just recently been lead to this “Kundalini” thing. A book sort of “jumped off the shelf” recently called “Kundalini for beginners” by Ravindra Kumar. I read it cover-to-cover TWICE – finding more in it that corresponded to my own personal beliefs and experience than I have ever encountered before. Since then, I thought, “well maybe I should check out this Yoga thing” since I have tried meditation and sort of stink at it. Then, the other night, sick with a cold and unable to sleep I turned on the TV (which I rarely do) and lo and behold a show called “Kundalini Yoga” – it was 3:01 a.m. and the show had just started! And then, here I am at this website…
So thanks for offering your website – I’m sure you are helping many others to understand and integrate their experience into their lives in a positive way. Also, feel free to share my story if you think it might be of interest to others.
Laurel R. Di Tomaso email@example.com
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