Shared Transformation Issue 7
WHAT HELPS?
by El Collie
Very few of us are fortunate enough to have a gifted healer or spiritual master to help us through the myriad difficulties
of the transformational process. For those who find themselves on their own, the roller coaster of spiritual emergence
can be bewildering and more than a little frightening. In certain phases of the process, we are likely to be in
such a heightened state of consciousness that we receive guidance from inner voices, visions, lucid dreams, or
we may simply have a powerful intuitive knowing that directs us to do exactly what we need at that moment. At other,
more barren stretches of the journey, we are apt to feel lost and unsure of what will nurture us and ease our passage.
In my own long awakening process, there have been many times when I fervently wished there was someone I could
trust to advise me. But in my case, the greatest external guidance I've received in my life has always come from
books. My Kundalini awakening hasn't altered this pattern; it was, in fact, passages I read in books that initially
made me realize that my Kundalini had spontaneously arisen. This article is a compilation of the recommendations
I have read (and have been given by others) for surviving the turbulence of a psychospiritual process. But I think
we need to remember that each of us is unique, and that we each have an individual life path and different resources
available to us. What may work beautifully for one person might be of no use to another. Even within our own process
we may find that our needs change, and discover that what gets us through one stage of unfolding is insufficient
or inappropriate at another point.
Grounding
In other times and other cultures which recognized spiritual transformation, the initiate in powerful stages of
awakening would be isolated in a protected place, and would usually be watched over day and night by others who
made sure he was not harmed during the exhaustive process. In our modern world, most of us don't have the luxury
of such a safe, secluded place nor the aid of supportive attendants willing (or able) to stay with us around the
clock so that we can freely abandon ourselves to our process. The energies that erupt within us may be so mentally
and physically electrifying that we fear for our survival. There are certain measures we can take to ground ourselves
(or at least to tone down the energies). The most frequent suggestions are:
1. Long walks, vigorous exercise, running or dancing (Caution: in extreme heightened states, physical movement
accelerates the energy rather than providing release.)
2. Physical labor. This works best if it is both physically engaging and a fairly mindless, repetitious task which
requires little mental concentration (such as scrubbing floors or pulling weeds).
3. Steady, gentle, nondemanding activities such as crafts or needlework
4. Communing with nature, especially in a serene, private setting. Sometimes full bodily contact with a tree or
the earth can be very grounding. For about six weeks during my process, I received inner guidance to go barefoot.
This was during the time when the electrical currents in my body were most intense; the energy coursed through
my feet into the ground more easily without the insulation of socks and shoes.
5. In extremely energetic states, one is apt to go for long periods without sufficient food or sleep. The resulting
stress on the organism amplifies these energies. If you are prone to spontaneous trance states or dysfunctional
"spacing out," be careful to keep up your blood sugar through eating regular small meals or snacks, even
if you aren't hungry. And try to get plenty of rest.
6. Increase food intake and include more protein and sugar in the diet. (At times in the process, one is apt to
have food cravings, particularly for sweets, dairy products or meat.)
7. Avoid practices that stimulate changes in consciousness, such as meditation, fasting, breath work and so forth.
8. Make love. Some people find that the release of orgasm balances the psychospiritual energies.
9. Although not recommended, substances such as alcohol and tobacco can decrease the energy within the system.
(A SEN volunteer told me she had heard many cases where even those who had quit smoking years previously had taken
up cigarettes again when they had Kundalini awakenings.) Prescription psychoactive drugs (antidepressants and antipsychotics)
can arrest or completely abort a transformational process. This may sound desirable to those who are having a hard
time of it, but these drugs do not return one to normal; instead, they tend to freeze the process in its present
state. Worse, antidepressants can trigger psychosis for those in a delicate psychospiritual state, and the neuroleptics
(antipsychotics) can cause tardive dyskinesia, a persistent and in many cases irreversible pathological syndrome
which resembles kriyas! (This will be discussed at greater length in "Dangerous Medications" in Issue
#9.) Even so, some people are so prone to severe mental dissociation and debilitating psychosis in the heightened
states that they cannot function without the aid of these drugs.
10. Service to others. (This has worked most often and most reliably in my own instance; focusing on someone else's
needs and lending my help and support has kept me from dissolving into oblivion -- or panic -- during my protracted
periods in altered states.)
Pain
Another major difficulty that comes up often in transformation is physical and mental/emotional pain. While much
of the pain may be fleeting and therefore bearable, some is more corrosive. Our bodies and psyches are being torn
apart and regenerated, and unfortunately, this process usually hurts. While it is not generally possible to completely
eliminate pain, there are things we can do to help alleviate it.
1. Baths. If the problem is insufferable bodily heat from the risen Kundalini, some people have found that cool
baths provide relief. If the problem is muscle pains, warm baths may be soothing. Some individuals have told me
that baths have been very grounding for them. In my personal experience, water (especially showers) intensifies
the energy in my body.
2. Massage, bodywork, acupressure or aura work (such as Therapeutic Touch). Warning: unless this is done by a very
sensitive and experienced person who is respectful of the Kundalini, it can disturb the delicate energy balance
in the system and cause more pain.
3. Adjustments in diet. This may be especially necessary during periods of digestive difficulties. Experiment with
dietary changes to find out what works best for you.
4. Follow internal cues. This is in line with the old joke where the patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when
I bend over like this," and the doctor replies, "Well, then don't bend over like that." Listen to
what your body is telling you.
5. Allow automatic movements to occur. When the kriyas and mudras begin to happen, they may seem so alien to us
that we try to repress these spontaneous physical movements. This can create more pain. I always feel an insistent
ache in my arms right before the mudras occur. If I let my arms start to move, the pain vanishes, but if I resist
the movements, the pain gets worse. If you have strong urges to move in a particular way, go off where you have
privacy and let this happen. It can be especially disconcerting when the facial muscles automatically move, causing
one to make grotesque grimaces or opening the mouth so wide it hurts. These movements and postures which occur
while resting in bed or at other times may seem very odd, but they are the body's attempts to acclimate and balance
the spiritual energies. Some people have discovered they were causing themselves pain by mentally and physically
clamping down against the energies. Relaxing this mental and bodily tension may at first cause lots of shaking
in the body, but this isn't harmful.
6. Flow with the pain. Sometimes I find that if I just accept the pain, and soften around it, I experience it in
a much less tormenting way. There have been times when I've been helped to do this by using Stephen Levine's mantra,
"Just this much" (which is a variation of sorts on the "One day at a time" motto of the recovery
movement, only in this case, it is "One microsecond at a time.") Occasionally, this flowing-with-it actually
changes the feeling from pain to a pleasurable streaming sensation.
7. Experiment with mentally moving the energy. This has been beneficial to me in dealing with my spine pain. I
mentally go into the pain and circulate the energy in the places where it feels stuck. This requires a lot of concentration
but is one of the few methods I've found that helps with severe pain.
8. Meditation and yoga. The gentle stretching movements of yoga can alleviate some pains and help open up pathways
for the energies.
9. Music. When my back pain was most ferocious, I spent hours merging into beautiful, soothing music I listened
to through headphones. While I wasn't transported away from the pain, I was less self-identified with it.
10. Prayer. Mother Meera (considered to be one of the living incarnations of the divine Mother) has said that all
prayers to the Goddess are eventually answered, and that even when She cannot take the suffering away (some pain
and suffering are an inevitable and necessary part of spiritual growth), She always acts in compassion to soften
one's suffering. In my seven years of praying to the Goddess, I have found this to be true. The Goddess is the
deification of divine mercy and love; this is why I am attuned to Her in my prayers. Prayer is very personal and
is most effective when it is directed to the Higher Power that has the greatest resonance for you.
11. Dialogue with the pain or physical symptom. This can bring up very fruitful insights and revelations. Ask the
pain (or symptom) who it is and what it wants from you. Allow your imagination free reign with this. Sometimes
it takes several dialogue sessions to get anywhere (and it may seem like nothing meaningful is happening). But
if you persist, you might learn something valuable about yourself (or about the universe) and may discover the
pain is reduced or disappears in the process.
12. Pain medication. There were times during my awakening when I was clearly told not to take any drugs/chemicals
into my body. There have been other times when I was permitted to take medications (in moderation) to relieve my
most painful symptoms. (This "permission" came in the sense that these medicines became available to
me and I had no adverse reaction, physically or psychically, when I made use of them.) I have used, at various
times in my process, Valium (good for relieving muscle spasms), Flexeril (a muscle relaxant that has helped with
my back pain), Codeine (another godsend for taking the edge off my agonizing spine pain) and aspirin. Irina Tweedie
practically lived on aspirin and caffeine (in the form of black coffee) for the first five years of her Kundalini
awakening. You'll need to stay closely in touch with your own system to know how purist you should be about this.
13. Be patient. When Bonnie Lee Hood (who has done a great deal of research on spiritual emergence) was asked at
a conference what was most useful in getting through the worst parts of the process, she answered, "Time."
Many of the painful or hard to bear aspects of awakening will eventually work themselves out without intervention.
Simply being willing to "be with" whatever is happening, and allowing our healing to unfold at its own
pace, may be all that is needed. And sometimes, when we seem to be stuck at a difficult impasse, it is not until
we are able to surrender to the process that we finally come upon inner or external guidance to help us move on.
Other Problems
1. Agoraphobia, panic attacks and other mental/emotional distress may occur when the chakras are opening and one
is becoming hypersensitive to atmospheric psychic energies. Many people find that it helps to visualize psychic
barriers or protective seals (such as surrounding oneself with a cocoon of light) to fend off this barrage.
2. Fear: a certain amount of fear is typical of the transformational process and can't be helped. But there are
resources that can modify our fears. I have often found comfort and reassurance from reading books and magazine
articles written by others who have undergone psychospiritual experiences. Better yet can be direct communication
with others who are going through spiritual emergence. This can be done through networking and forming support
groups in your area. Some people find that this is the time when therapy is of great help, especially when dealing
with all the personal and biographical pain that is uncovered during the purification process.
3. Physical illness. Going through a spiritual transformation doesn't make you immune to "normal" diseases
and injuries. If you are experiencing extreme or prolonged symptoms, do seek medical attention. A Kundalini awakening
can catalyze latent diseases which can be serious if left untreated.
4. Mild to moderate difficulties. Some people never experience severe complications during their awakening. Others
may go through "intermissions" of relative relief between bouts of more drastic manifestations. In these
less demanding periods, it can be very helpful to channel the energies into creative outlets, such as writing poetry,
playing music, artwork, or whatever you are naturally drawn to do. These activities are not only pleasant; they
can be a way to process and integrate unconscious (and superconscious) material.
Blessing or Curse?
In the overall sense, what may help or hinder us most is our regard for the process itself. Both the energetic
activity in the body and the psychic deluge from awakening chakras create a strong impression of internal "otherness."
Women who have borne children are familiar with this physical and mental/emotional intimacy with the "other"
within. In fact, many of the Kundalini manifestations bear resemblance to the flutterings and stirrings and even
the bold kicks and contortions of the infant in the womb. If we are able to welcome this inundation of more-than-self
into our bodyminds, the process is far easier to bear than when we recoil in horror at the seemingly alien invasion.
Transpersonal psychotherapist Bonnie Greenwell, who works extensively with clients undergoing spiritual emergence,
says: "If Kundalini awakens and one is contracted against the consciousness it brings, it appears that nothing
of value can happen, although much struggle may still occur" (Energies of Transformation). I have witnessed
this in several individuals who furiously fought against the difficulties of their awakening process. Not only
was this negation futile in preventing further symptoms; by taking an adversarial stance, they denied themselves
the one thing that might have made their pain endurable: a sense of purposefulness. In my case, some part of me
must have been secretly awaiting this stage of my development in great anticipation, because as soon as I realized
I was experiencing the risen Kundalini, I was overcome with joy, reverence and gratitude. (I also felt afraid and
conflicted with feelings of unworthiness and scatterings of diehard skepticism.) Apparently, such immediate readiness
to receive the process as a gift is unusual. Most people need a bit more reflection and evidence before they can
believe that the painful symptoms and losses incurred during the cleansing period are actually preludes to profound
healing and regeneration. Those of us who accept the benevolence of the transformational experiences may still
face episodes that shake our faith. There are many times when I seriously doubt that I will survive my process
intact. Yet even in my most harrowing moments, I am sustained by my gratitude. Going through severe illness and
staggering losses brings everything into razor sharp perspective. Either one remains teetering on a precipice of
bitter resentment, or one gains a deep appreciation of every aspect of one's existence which is not wracked in
pain and sorrow. Genuine gratitude is a reward unto itself. Even in the throes of devastation, it fills us with
a sense of the holiness of life. Gratitude is the recognition that Something here is touching us with Love. This
is such a joyful release from the egocentric and self-torturing belief that Something here owes us a good life,
or that any painful experience is a sign of punishment or personal failure. I'm afraid I'm starting to sound moralistic
here, which isn't my intention. Feeling thankful is not something that can be taught as a spiritual virtue. It
arises by itself when enough inner debris has been cleared away. I think it is crucial to remember that each of
us has our own innate style, our own exquisite relationship to the whole that no one else can spell out for us.
The transformational process reveals to each of us the best way to embrace and be embraced by all that comes to
us. Finding this way for ourselves is our personal search for the Grail. For me, having information about the process
has been of enormous help. The qualities of character stressed by many spiritual teachers as essential to completing
transformation are courage, faith, and not least of all, a good sense of humor. More succinctly, what helps most
is to take heart, keep searching, keep watching, keep listening, and keep following your own light.
-- El Collie