Shared Transformation

Reviews

And There Was Light

by Jacques Lusseyran, Parabola Books, 2nd edition, 1998. ISBN 0- 930407-40-7

This is the autobiography of one of the leaders of the French Resistance during WWII. Blinded at the age of 8, the way Lusseyran describes his childhood makes me suspect that he had a Kundalini awakening very early in life. Soon after he lost his eyesight, he developed his other senses (including his intuition) in ways which will resonate for many who have been fine-tuned by Kundalini. For instance, as his hearing intensified, he learned that "sound is not something happening outside us, but a real presence passing through us..." With an emphasis that applies equally to those of us now hypersensitive to noise, he speaks of how necessary it is to protect blind children "against shouting, background music and all such hideous assaults... a violent noise has the same effect as a beam of a searchlight too close to the eyes of someone who can see. It hurts." As the author allowed his hands to receive the vibrations of things, his sense of touch gave him yet another kind of sight: "But it is more than seeing them, it is tuning in on them and allowing the current they hold to connect with one's own, like electricity. To put it differently, this means an end of living in front of things and a beginning of living with them."

Most familiar to many of us with awakened Kundalini were his experiences of inner light: "I was aware of a radiance emanating from a place I knew nothing about, a place which might as well have been outside me as within." This inner light was constant for him. "The amazing thing was that this was not magic for me at all, but reality. I could no more have denied it than people with eyes can deny that they see. I was not light myself; I knew that, but I bathed in it as an element which blindness had suddenly brought much closer." He became able to read auras as well. "Light threw its color on things and people. My father and mother, the people I met or ran into in the street, all had their characteristic color which I had never seen before I went blind." His ability to read people's true nature and intentions made him a nearly infallible judge of character -- an invaluable skill when he was called upon to decide which volunteers for the Resistance movement could be trusted. The one time he ignored his reservations about a potential recruit proved disastrous -- the man later betrayed him and most of his closest friends to the Nazis. This led to Lusseyran's internment in a German concentration camp. Yet even in this unspeakable hell, the Spirit kept his body and heart alive. And There Was Light is the story of a remarkable man who was able to affirm life and find value in circumstances which would shatter most souls. It is a deeply spiritual and inspirational book, written with utmost honesty, humility and love.

El Collie




(Three poems from El Collie's unpublished book of poetry Dionysus Unbound )

The "Wind Storm" poem came to me 12 years before my Kundalini spontaneously erupted. At the time I
wrote the poem, I had no idea what it really meant, but I remember it gave me chills.

WIND STORM

You hear it and you think
it's safely Out There,
some drunken gust of midnight motion
rattling windows and thrashing walls;
some strange change of sudden weather
you think you can close down
behind locked doors, small talk, numb mind.
You crawl to bed and close your eyes.
You still hear it.
You say it's just the wind,
just the wind,
until it breathes down your shivering back,
seizes your spine,
storms your cowering brain
and bends the branches of time.
Then you hear it, all right!
You hear it
when it grabs you dead center
and sucks you through your skin.
You hear the incredible when it happens,
when it hoists you out of yourself
and you go sailing through pyrotechnic space.
You go spinning; you go soaring;
you go right through the ceiling
and find yourself howling
like some preternatural newborn thing.
Oh, you hear it, loud and clear.
You hear it
like you never heard anything before.




WORK IN PROGRESS

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself.
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)


-- Walt Whitman

We want things in halves, easy to comprehend,
but it's not that simple
when everything contains its own opposite.
It's taken me a lifetime to discern
an iota of my confounding complexity.
No wonder I've been misunderstood
from whatever sundry corners of the Universe
took notice of me.
How can I blame them for being blind?
I who was witnessing myself most closely of all
barely knew who I was.
It takes eons to circle
from the circumference to the center.
The further in we get, the more difficult it becomes
to pinpoint exactly where we are on the spiral
of countless revolutions and revelations.
No matter how far we go,
the journey's end remains elusive...
It takes many, many turns around
before we come to realize that incompletion
is an integral part of the Complete.




SURVIVAL GUIDE

(for Dan)

You get through the ravages of Kundalini awakening
the same way people from time immemorial
survived all appointments with destiny
(birth, irreparable loss, old age, death).
You learn to tough it out.
You learn to accept.
You learn to surrender.
You learn to lean into the arms of grace
both unseen, from the realms above,
and extended through a human hand.
You get through tattered and torn around the edges.
You get through wondering how you've managed
to make it through this far.
You get through hanging on for dear life.
You get through shaken and shuddering
and sheared of everything
but your quivering mind and quaking heart,
and the distant echo of a memory
that this was why you came here.
Though you think there has been some colossal mistake,
inscrutably, incredibly, something in you knows
that this is precisely what you came here
so valiantly to endure:
this merciless nakedness
of heart and soul.


© El Collie 1995

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